Dear Friends,
Yesterday’s horrific tragedy was not just another news brief that flashed across the iPhone screen. For many, this one hit hard. The words “Church,” and “students” ignited a different fear for some, although violence in places of worship is certainly not new. Feelings of violation, and of course, of profound sadness, seep into our consciousness. It’s a story repeating itself far too often. The impact of yesterday does not stop with the precious faithful who sat in the Annunciation Catholic Church pews; innocence dies, trauma is born, and nothing is ever the same. My heart aches.
As is typical when these tragedies happen, and the words “mental illness” rapidly enter the dialogue, my telephone rings a lot. People want to talk about it. They want to express anger, frustration, fear, political views. I listen.
In this moment, however, I don’t want to listen. I want to talk. I live and breathe mental health issues with families daily. I know that the funding is poor, insurance is a battle, and resources are hard to navigate. I also know that in this moment, the media will latch onto “mental illness” and make it a pressing concern for today, but the conversation will be fleeting. We will resume “normal” until another tragedy captures headlines. The cycle is exhausting and frankly not helpful.
I agree. Our mental health system is broken. It’s inadequate and inefficient; but that’s not the entire story. Working in mental health for 20 years, I believe that although society is loud during a crisis, we have yet to prioritize mental health. We live in a world that has no space for it, a world of DO MORE, BE MORE, HAVE MORE, GIVE MORE. Are we losing sight of what truly matters?
We pay for a gym membership to lose weight, but not a therapy session to deal with the possible stress, anxiety or depression driving the weight gain; we’re frustrated when the exercise can’t “keep the weight off.” We pay for physical therapy for our young athletes when injured, but not a therapy session to help them deal with the pressure and anxiety of competing at a high level; we don’t understand why our kids want to quit the sport that we’ve invested thousands of dollars to train them to play. We use retail therapy to escape, but won’t sit with a therapist to discuss what we are really running from, like the troubled marriage, the fear of financial stability, the grief. We will self-soothe with a glass of wine at night or maybe too many glasses, to avoid the mountain of dishes, laundry, bills, schedules and outside demands for our time. We regret it in the morning, but we repeat the cycle anyway, rejecting the idea that with a little help, life could look more manageable. There’s no judgement. It’s the way we’ve been socialized to operate. But there are natural consequences – like a society plagued with increased depression, high anxiety, self-harming behaviors, and desperate acts. That’s not a problem of the mental health system. That’s a problem of priorities.
Mental health care has become a crisis response, not a daily priority. That is a costly choice. It’s a choice that affects the efficacy of not only mental health care, but every other system, including our educational system, our health care system, our social services, and on and on. Simply put, there is no health without mental health. Our mental health drives our ability to be self-actualized, responsible, and value centered individuals. Without it, we are chaotic, quick-fix seeking, financially unstable and drained physically, mentally, and spiritually.
We have heard a lot of words over the past 24 hours about taking action in this moment of tragedy. As I sit here today, I wonder… can’t action first start with setting priorities in our own lives, our own families? If we individually choose to do it differently, it has a ripple effect. People follow what they see working for others.
In this moment, we aren’t going to resolve the big conversations happening in our country. We can’t guarantee the news won’t be streaming another similar tragic incident in a matter of days. But we can start paying attention to what’s going on underneath our own roofs. We can prioritize ourselves and our families. We can spend more quality time together. We can address our troubles instead of shoving them aside. We can live intentionally. At the end of the day, is there really anything more important to teach our children?
Karla Smith Behavioral Health helps individuals and families through the crisis, but the real joy comes with the transformation that occurs when people embrace the challenge to go beyond the crisis and change the chaos to peace. The KSBH staff and I welcome you to enter this journey with us. We continue to fight for change for all families who bravely and vulnerably step forward for help. We walk with them, and we will walk with you. We will hold your hands through the entire journey. We will help you. And you will feel better. Because that’s what happens when you take that first step to address the things that cause you distress, sleepless nights, broken relationships, uncontrollable rage, and hopelessness. We will fight for you, and believe in you. That’s what we do. Ultimately, you will believe that you are worth fighting for.
Every step forward, we are with you…
Sincerely,
Emily Smith
Executive Director